It was the end of July 2022. They lowered mother's urn into the ground. The funeral was brief. There were not many cousins left on father's side. But all our cousins on mother's side and their spouses were all there. Mother was the end of her generation: the last in line of all our cousins. I can't speak for the rest of the families, but the Hadley girls all felt our parents were bigger than life. Dad was always there to give you a hug or words of encouragement. Mother was always there with her sage advice. And they were both gone now. It was a great loss. But now it was our turn. We would be the ones that the younger generation turned to. We would be the ones to fill the void that our parents left behind. We were now the adults in the room.
What do we say? What would feel like a tremendous burden of responsibility was lightened by the fact that we believers enjoyed the counsel of God. He would help us have the right words and tangible expressions of support for our loved ones. He would show us what to say. In the meantime, we would need to pull together as a family team. We sisters would have to come together and help the younger members of the family deal with the issues and concerns of the moment.
Berean Bible Exodus 4:11-12 11And the LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Or who makes the mute or the deaf, the sighted or the blind? Is it not I, the LORD? 12Now go! I will help you as you speak, and I will teach you what to say."
Our job is to walk in love. Jesus was once angry enough to overthrow the money changers' tables, but he walked in love. Was Jesus out of control? Did he just lose his temper? Scripture says it was the zeal for God's house that consumed him; and he always did the Father's will. Zeal is the Greek word zelos. It indicates a "boiling over", but he was very much in deliberate control. Think about it. Sampson had to have zeal to kill all those Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. Jesus was the adult in the room.
It is not our job to be vengeful or vindictive, but there are times when loving people means taking a bold stand. Actually that takes a great deal of deliberate self control. When you step out in faith, you allow God to step in. God's justice is perfect and God will not be mocked. We pray in the spirit or with our understanding over the people and the situations we are involved in. We will know the right thing to do in situations and conditions. It's all about trusting God.
Proverbs 3:5-6 5Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
One thing is for certain. We have a short time left before it's the next generation's turn unless the rapture happens first. Our lives on earth are relatively short. If it's to be done, we should do it now if we can. "If it's got to be, it's up to me." Remember: It doesn't matter how good the adversary is at cheating, lying, and destroying, we have the creator of the universe on our side.
Psalm 118: 6-7 6The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? 7The LORD taketh my part with them that help me: therefore shall I see my desire upon them that hate me.
You are working for team God. He designed the whole thing. You can trust him to help you out. Not only is he there all the time, he put his spirit in you. You are the adult in the room. The responsibility is yours. Just do the best you can to the best of your ability. If God said it, that settles it. Have the confidence in God to move forward and do what needs to be done. Do it now. We tend to over analyze things, over complicate things. Act confidently and you will probably end up believing yourself. Doing nothing is a decision too. Procrastination feeds fear. Sometimes you just need to say or do something. You will soon see that your effort makes a difference.
Some of us go to the gym regularly to work out. In the beginning, it might have felt foolish or seemed ridiculous that a little bit of effort would produce much, but we went anyway and were faithful. Maybe we didn't see big results on the scale, but our muscles started firming up. It once took great effort to press 10 pounds, but within a few weeks you were pressing 30 with less effort. Now all the staff probably know your name and your confidence is there.
Now, I know what a lot of people think. They say, "Well, God doesn't talk to me." Is that true? You've got an operating manual for life called the Bible. God also wrote you letters, but you want a phone call? Look. God put his holy spirit, the comforter, within us. Haven't you been in a situation where you ran into the right person or said the right thing to somebody? Yes, God communicates with you at times and maybe it wasn't a conversation. Maybe you "just knew." You surely have heard manifestations in fellowship. Learn how to do this yourself, and you can have words from God manifest at any time you need to.
A couple weeks ago, Kim Catania taught us in fellowship that we don't need to wait until we are good enough – it's not going to happen. We come to God just as we are. God loves us as we are. We need to love ourselves that way too. That's how we need to love others as well. If we are setting the bar crazy high in our own lives, doubtless we are doing the same for the people we love.
I stopped fighting my brother's grandson on his stand against the bible and started praying for him. I didn't see results for a long time, but he became born again without my help. There are many things I would still like to change in his life, but it is his life, not mine. He will grow as God directs him. In the end, somebody might decide that they don't want to be on God's team. You keep doing your best, but in the end, it's their decision.
Being the grown-up in the room is something you run into as a parent of children. Teachers run into it too whether they teach elementary school or college. There is a level of responsibility involved in imparting knowledge to people. Everyone has a different level of involvement in the process. Some work at an "A" level and some folks put in very little effort and get a "D" or even an "F". In a traditional lecture situation, you generally can expect most people to retain about 45% of what you teach. This is why repetition is important. God repeats concepts in his word all the time. We need to do the same in a typical lecture and as parents. You must also maintain control of a classroom or your home, especially if it contains younger children. You teach children to focus on a task and pay attention. Adults need to learn that too.
Many people think that being a teacher is complicated or difficult. Some subjects may be like that, but most really are not. Teaching's something very enjoyable and many people would do it even if they didn't get paid. The main role of a teacher is to get across an idea or a set of ideas that are useful to the student. Homework is designed to get the student involved in the learning process. We need to be a doer of the word and not just a hearer. Even tests don't really prove that a student has learned the material. Doing homework is very practical and needful. Does God give us homework? Think about it.
Some people are not comfortable being the adult in the room and having people rely on them. They want to be spiritually drinking milk like a baby and not able to handle grown up tasks.
1 Corinthians 3:2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.
So how do we grow up spiritually? To do the Word we need to know the Word. We need to faithfully study God's word for ourselves and make it our own, not only for our own growth but also so we can help others also. We need to be able to pass the word to the next generation so that they can reap the rewards of fellowship as well.
2 Timothy 2:2 And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.
See, you may not be behind the lectern week after week teaching the brothers and sisters, but you are a teacher whether or not you realize it. Your life and the words you speak to the people around you are instruction. It may or may not be a great witness, but it is a witness. If you are not witnessing for God, who are you witnessing for? Make it your homework to do the works of God outside of the fellowship. Learn the Word of Truth. Speak the truth in love, walk away from gossip, forgive quickly, treat other people the way you want them to treat you and prove that being a believer is not a bad experience. Look around. Are you the adult in the room? Then act like it. Alright? God bless you.